You slept with another woman and you are seriously tormented about it. Should you confess it to your permanent partner? We learned opinion on this issue from five different experts.
1. Evolutionary psychologist
Michael Price, lecturer at Brunel University (London)
“Guilt – is a useful mechanism that does not give you to make the same mistake“, – explains Price. But sometimes it runs too fast. Try not to tear your hair for at least half an hour – better try to look at your fault with her eyes. “Men consider physical cheating a terrible sin, and therefore are more prone to impulsive drunken confessions. But women are primarily concerned about emotional cheating. They are suffering a primal fear that you latch on to another lady and you will feed and keep her safe – says Price. – If it was a one time sex, without any emotional involvement on your part, then keep your mouth shut“.
If it was a purely physical workout and it does not go about new love – keep the story under wraps.
If you had a crush, then you want more and more prohibited sex. Enough to play up, say your partner everything as it is.
Hamish Roberts, CEO of the International Insurance Company AON
Here’s a question that the insurers-pessimists ask themselves every day: what’s the worst thing that could happen? “Think about it, whether your partner would react rationally to bad news or – immediately begin “to wave a knife”?” – asks Roberts. He advises to find out what usually happened in a similar situation. Do you want to go through something like this? “And rate your “reputation risk” – says Roberts. – There’s a chance she would survive your affair, and your mutual friends or your parents may behave unpredictably. And finally, realize that crises are resolved better if your opponent has her own place. “If you decide to tell her – find where to live in advance, if she needs time. This way she’ll forgive you faster.
Keep the secret at least until you think over all the consequences.
You thought about it, and the forecasts are optimistic – reveal your secret.